mood: miserable
music: 'fade into you' by mazzy star
god, i feel like shit. emotionally, that is. i discovered that i don't like pot very much. and alcohol tastes like crap too. cigarettes aren't much better, but i smoke anyways. i'm beginning to think drugs aren't my cup of tea.
so now i'm feeling like shit because i don't have a purpose or a hope. even if i had hope in something as stupid and superficial as drugs, at least it was a hope for something. now i feel like crying, but no tears come. what a horrible place to be.
my last chance seems to be music; as i write this i feel a strong urge to write a song/songs. up to this point, in terms of songwriting, i've failed miserably, though. still, i haven't totally lost hope in it, but the thought of making a living out of it still seems horrifically outlandish.
so here i am.
4 comments:
i am next-blogging as a distraction passtime before i do stuff i have to do...i just listened to fade into you for the first time in a long time. i used to think the singer of mazzy star was just okay, until i tried singing for real myself.
the part about hot showers...i think about that sometimes. if i feel shitty, they help; if i feel great, a hot shower is ecstatic. they are always good. where i am in japan right now its c-c-c-cold, so the hot shower (and the public bath and the hot springs) are fifty-million times better.
oh yeah, the reason i was going to comment. sometimes drugs intitiate that feeling of crappiness that makes you want to cry but brings no tears. frustrating. i think that's worse than crying when you don't want to be.
ah welcome.
yeah you seem to be right about the drugs thing. i'm still just experimenting, and i guess i'm not destined to do drugs.
and the whole singing thing: yeah, you should give us singers a bit more credit. think of trying to hit that high G# not just in the shower by yourself, but in front of a stadium full of people. and in the case of the guitar/vocals type, multitasking under pressure. the horror...
thanks for the welcome, and, you are welcome (for the cheering up) yeah! you like bauhaus and radiohead. i sing radiohead at karaoke a lot.
thank you for your comment about my poem. when i re-read it i can't tell if it's any good. i don't always use no-capitals, but i am being lazy right now.
i am learning to play guitar. b chords perplex me. and why doesn't my c sound like the c on "nice dream" on the cd? is it a c?
oh don't blame yourself. old mr. greenwood always seems to use really weird variations on his chords. i learned this the hard way.
i haven't bought 'the bends' as of yet. but from what i've heard, if you're talking about the C during that soloish thingy that starts at about 2:27, yes it's a C, but i'm not sure what type. possibly Am/C (A minor root C), but that might just confuse you even more. such deviants those radioheads are.
Am/C:
e--0--
B--1--
G--2--
D--2--
A--3--
E--x--
(maybe)
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