mood: mechanicalmusic: 'map ref' by my bloody valentine

to be here when the malaise of school sets in again: this is what it means to be me.

after an uphill battle, i've gotten back all the classes i'd signed up for before. over christmas break, i was dropped from all of them because i hadn't paid the registration fees on time. i got two right away, then fought the registrar's office for the other three and won. my schedule gives me a free friday and an evenly spread 4 day week, but for some reason, proving myself better than the system doesn't give me enough reason to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed each day before classes.

no, it's still that morning moan and groan of an electric alarm that calls me into classes that often times remind me of high school classes. and oh, how i hated high school classes.

gathering my syllabi, my books, my pens, my notebooks, and my droopingly weary wit, i drag my feet to each class, knowing full well that i have earned the right to go to those classes. that i took the system in my hands and guided it to my liking. but for what? for homework, classwork, busywork? such a futile cause to fight for.

where are those stereotyped college professors that know their worlds inside and out? the ones that are crazy, but still seem to make sense 100% of the time? the ones that don't give out their body weight in assignments, but instead let you flourish on your own as a blooming adult and student of a higher education? the ones that don't care, but make you care instead?

---Goei---