mood: stuckmusic: 'hallelujah' by jeff buckley

on a day as rainy as today, i find myself searching for that spot of cover. someplace safe from the barrage of drops, away from the muted splashes on my windowsill. but as everyone knows, when you're in the rain, you're in the rain. and there's no span of land safe from heaven's tears. at least not for a few miles.

so here i can stay inside and listen to the drops as cold begets rain and rain begets solitude and solitude begets loneliness and loneliness begets writing and writing begets loneliness. who can help but be sick of the rain. and who can help but feel stuck because of the rain. and who can help but take those last analogies as symbolic.

as the minutes pass me by, i take a look around and hope for rest tonight. i've got a big day ahead of me tomorrow and it includes ambivalence. (what else in my life doesn't nowadays?) i know that soon i'll watch the unacceptable pass before my eyes, and helpless, i'll let it pass. unscathed? perhaps not. maybe not tonight. not on a night like tonight, wretched, broken, and cold. tired. helpless. dozens of other emo adjectives. if not as a being in the physical, then as a being in the verbal.

---Goei---