mood: upliftedmusic: 'i'm so lonesome i could cry' by cowboy junkies

it's all about disembodiment.

surfers do it when they surf. druggies do it when they get high. i do it when i ride my skateboard in serpentine paths down the slate grey parking structure. anything to feel like nothing.

to fill that void with another void. the one of yourself. the one of yourself as a 'nothing' feeling happy. or sad. or anything.

it's the satisfaction of having nothing there to hinder you. or even to motivate you. the satisfaction of driving to nowhere. driving to drive. thinking to feel. like a roadtrip to wherever, whenever, with someone, even if that someone is yourself.

a wise young man once helped me find the meaning of life in infinity. and it was at nowhere in particular, in no place in particular. with time flying off the hands of our watches. and our spirits sagging into the sky through the moonroof.

again i'll sleep tonight with the comfort of those times of no time. and maybe this time it'll stick (but probably not, but that's ok because it'll leave room for next time).

and one day i'll know it all and rue that day.

because there won't be nothing.

because there won't be a day or a time or a place. but neither will there be a bliss to exist in non-existence.

nothing in nothing.

and nothing to be nothing in.

because there won't be nothing.

---Goei---