mood: lonely music: 'souvlaki space station' by slowdive

i really do hate sunday afternoons during the school year. yes, they're relaxing. but that's only if you're in a good mood already and you haven't procrastinated at all on the weekend's homework. otherwise they truly suck. especially if you're not in the greatests of moods. the weekend usually gives me 2 days, friday and saturday, to forget my worries by keeping busy. then sunday, absolutely nothing happens. and there i am sitting in my room, left alone to brood and stew in my own hypothetical juices. there are a number of things that have proved in the past to make my sundays more enjoyable. none have thus far shown up.

last night a handful of us went to a concert at the gym of the local public park. they managed to drag me to this thing; i was having doubts about going. you see, the genre, as described on the flyer, was 'screamo+rock+hardc.ore'. ok, there was a time where putting 'rock' on a flyer meant something better. nowadays, it just means more bands that conform to the latest trend and would sell out at the drop of a hat. rock is d.ead. the bands lived up to my expectations, and i tried my best to stay away from sulking, but eventually you, or anyone else in the room, could tell i wasn't having the best of times. it was like each band was playing one really song with lots of breaks inbetween. i don't attribute my demeanor to the music, however. i used to be into that kind of music a while back. it wasn't the music that was bringing me down.

on a totally unrelated note, i've been trying abnormally hard in school. i have no clue why. i've been keeping up with homework, assignments, etc., etc. it figures that i would actually start trying during the school year that means the least. and although it makes me feel better in certain aspects, it also makes me feel worse in others, mainly the mental and physical fatigue that comes with effort.

ok i have to go now. my parents are forcing me to go to church with them.

---Goei---