mood: discontent music: 'off your face' by my bloody valentine

ok, so i've been kinda lazy for a few days.

friday was the last day of school for a long time. 6 weeks to be exact. the thought of that expansive length still hasn't hit me. i did have a few intense study sessions for a few of my finals, which i didn't really need, but did anyways. my favorite final was short fiction. in 2 hours i wrote about 4 times as much as i did on my mini research paper; about 4 pages single spaced front and back. i only justified once again that i've got a ton of conflicting ideas: i'm a existentialist/romantic, with more emphasis on the former. think jean-paul sartre and william wordsworth's illegitimate lovechild.

so far, i can honestly say i'm intensely discontented by what's going on. things just seem like they're working on a grossly smaller scale than they should be. whatever that means.

i've never missed my aunt more than now. about this time last year, i was in indonesia with her, escorting her back to her sisters in jakarta. now that i'm spending the first christmas in a decade without her, i realize how responsible she was for making sure we celebrated christmas in the first place. my parents are always stoic when it comes to holidays, and usually i am too, but i miss having her offset us. it was refreshing to see her around, decorating the (plastic) tree with her other niece. god forbid i would enjoy it as much as they did. i can only hope she is happy doing her thing halfway across the world. i wonder how she is fairing; they don't have evergreens in the rainforest. perhaps a tinseled banana tree.

oh, and i did scan the knott's berry farm photos last night. out of 27 pictures, 16 came out, and 3 or 4 of those 16 very dark and, let's face it, crappy. i still have no clue how to post them without having to do some tiresome html edits. maybe i'll give a few at a time. i don't feel like worrying about it right now, though.

---Goei---