mood: lovesick music: 'sugarcube' by yo la tengo

i'm feeling especially lonely all of a sudden. i guess i've fallen into the trap of the season for the first time. before i never really fully understood why people get so down during the holidays, but i guess the cold weather really triggered it; it would be nice to have someone to share warmth with.

today at st. john's i was helping the 4th graders weed their science lab's garden when a strong gust of wind blew my hair into my face. all of a sudden rain started to drizzle, and i started to usher the younguns back indoors. within 10 minutes the rain was coming down in torrents and the wind went straight through my jacket. once inside and slightly wet, the other 4 loyola guys and i started playing cards and bemoaning the fact that time seemed to have come to a standstill.

as scattered as this post is, i'll have to make it even more. i'm really in the mood to watch a few movies. i've got a list already written out of 'movies to rent', including 'donnie darko' and 'eraserhead', but i was thinking of actually going to a theatre, which is out of character for me. i've heard good things about 'a very long engagement', and i love 'amelie', so i'm thinking i'll see that. i get paid tomorrow and if i do decide to go, it'll be a matinee, so i don't think it will make too big of a leather-clad divot. something tells me that going to a movie alone will only amplify whatever loneliness i'll have in me tomorrow, though. so i don't know if i'll really muster up the energy to go find a cheap theatre somewhere if it means i won't be totally absorbed in the movie. i'm not going to spend upwards of $8 to wallow in my own self-pity when i can do it for free at home. maybe i'll go back to un-urban cafe afterwards/instead.

---Goei---