mood: intuitivemusic: 'run into flowers' by m83

last night i watched donnie darko. i thought it was pretty good. there is so much foreshadowing going on that it's not even funny. they had enough foreshadowing that even the deleted scenes were riddled with it. all in all, it's a great mix between a science-fiction flick, and a bittersweet satire of late-80's era america. also, if you ever want to see what loyola high (my school) looks like, they filmed all the school shots on location the year before i was a freshman. it was very odd to see girls on campus. *sigh*

anyway, today my boss called me into his office, wherein he told me that he would be changing my job description. originally, i had planned to quit on the 31st of may, but maybe this new job might dictate otherwise. apparently it has more to do with accounting. oh well, a guy can dream...

sometimes i think it's funny how similar my line of thought is to stella parrish's. (those unfamiliar with her will note that she is the protagonist of seigel's like the red panda.) during work today, i was drifting off as usual, but this time fantasizing about angry encounters with people who'd pissed me off in fairly recent times. bigoted fellows, unfair gents, the oppressive, the unruly, the offensive: the whole lot of them. one by one, my frustration would build and give way to acts of violence, but less in a hurtful way and more in a 'poetic justice' sense.

of course, at the time i was thinking them through, i had planned to document it all here. have you ever woken from a dream and remembered each detail so clearly, so vividly, that you could have sworn it actually happened? then, as seconds tick away you can feel each morsel of a memory crumbling away slowly but steadily to who knows where? isn't it a crippling helplessness sort of feeling? that's what happened here.

all i can remember now is who they were and how good that catharsis felt. to right the wrongs. maybe that's all that counts.

---Goei---