mood: the definition of undefinedmusic: 'mina loy [M.O.H.]' by billy corgan

staring at the sun through a cloud, i dreamt of a carousel. spinning in endless circles, playing endless happy music, the gold ring glistening with temptation. as soon as i reached up to keep it for myself i fell.

across from me, a plain looking girl dropped her book. she didn't notice. her hair was shockingly red and her skin smooth and pale. she was dressed like everyone else. i walked over to her table and picked up the book, elevating it to table level in the twilight sun. naked lunch.

'you dropped this,' i said.

'oh. thanks,' she said, monotone and vaguely interested. she damn near killed me.

'that's a great book,' i said to her. 'how far are you?'

'i haven't started yet.' still deadpan. still distracted.

it took every muscle in my body to say, 'my name is brandon. nice to meet you.'

she lifted her hand and i took it. her eyes rose to our handshake, then slowly to my eyes. 'sara,' she said. and the connection was suddenly realized.

'is this seat taken?'

'be my guest.'

i sat and took a deep breath. five seconds of silence stretched to and eternity. in, out. i looked around. the patio was deserted. high noon. i glanced back to her and unbridled blue was gazing back at me.

'sara. saaaarrraaa,' i said. 'where are you from?'

'i'm looking for a place,' she answered, and without another breath i understood what place she was looking for. it was a place where absurdity ceased to exist. where reality dripped with illusion. she wasn't surprised when i didn't ask where this place was.

she began to write in her yellow notebook. 'so you're a writer?' i asked.

'no,' she retorted. burn.

her hand moved in slow motion as it drifted from left to right. 'moonbeams drag though spiny fronds,' she dictated. the sun set at that moment. apparently she controlled the universe. 'and i stare at the face of god, unmoving. reflections cross the fields of my memory.'

she fainted. i understood. i got up and left her, face down, red rays of hair sprawled across her blue-lined canvas.

---Goei---