mood: uneasy music: 'blue line swinger' by yo la tengo

i really love this song. really really. it gives me tingles when i listen to it. everything falls into place despite the typical ruckus of noise-pop. oh it's good.

the way i figure it, there's about 6 billion people in the world right? out of those 6 billion, in my lifetime, i'll meet 1000 people if i'm lucky. that's already 1/6,000,000ths of the population. and out of that hypothetical thousand, i'll only become really good friends with 10 to 20 in the course of my entire lifetime. that's a bit narrow isn't it? and how do i know that my 'perfect match' isn't included in the other 5,999,999,000? it's a smidge depressing, huh? i've tried telling this to two different friends who don't know each other, and i managed to ruin both of their days. (so maybe publishing it on the internet, where anyone can access it wasn't the best idea... oops.)

the fact is that our world is way too big than we can deal with. there isn't really a solution other than learn to forget that and live however you want regardless of the odds. don't you love it when the answer to something is just: 'ignore and move on'? so simple.

on an unrelated note, it's officially december. how fast were those last couple of months, huh? in two weeks i take finals and proceed to get 6 weeks off of school. 3 for winter break and 3 for my senior community service project. i'm just itching.

it's really cold here. some suburbs farther inland from me have hit lows of 37. keep in mind this is southern california. i have trouble getting out of the shower in the morning because it's so damn comfortable. even more comfortable than usual.

ah, the troubles of the working class. just kidding of course. i'm just looking for something else to bemoan. yes, my job sucks. i'm past the denial stage. it's just a monotonous motion, so i drift off in thought easily. that leads to me slowing down. that leads to me getting home later. that leads to shifting my homework schedule. that leads to me getting less sleep. that leads to me feeling fatigued at school/work. and that starts the whole thing over again. at least the hours are mine to pick, but seriously, i need to ask for something more than minimum wage, or it's not going to be worth continuing there.

---Goei---